Letting go -- again

I drove to Rochester today to cut some apron strings, the ones that have kept one of my grown children financially dependent on me for too long.

The thing is, I am as "guilty" as this grown child when it comes to this co-dependent relationship we seem to have. I, being a parent, think I can fix anything. It's what parents are supposed to do. Or so I thought. Give me a kid who seems to be doing well and needs just one more chunk of cash to get the next chapter of his or her life in order and I'm there with the checkbook.

At least, I was.

Today was a day for letting go and trusting that, as my mother-in-law likes to say, all will be well -- without my intervention.

We do our grown children no favor when we do too much for them. When they don't live up to our expectations we feel betrayed, resentful. Not a good frame of mind to be in at any time of year but especially not now, not a few days before Christmas.

Still, I have to admit to feeling a bit lighter tonight. I'm back home, and I am no longer tied to a financial arrangement that was sucking me dry. I have no one but myself to blame for that situation. But at least I've learned my lesson.

And, as usual, I learned it the hard way.